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November 03, 2004

electing

so, i went to the home of another chet link tonight (and i certainly mean no disrespect to this great person by that descriptive). she threw an election watching party.

i went to the doctor this morning at 10AM (diagnosed as "alive"), then took my state-allotted two hours to vote (free cookies!), and used the balance of that two hours and my lunch hour to bake a pecan pie for the party.

so, i appeared at the party with my pie, and with 12 harps and a bottle of rose's sweetened lime juice, and with my notebook. the more i drank, the more i observed, until that inevitable point of diminishing returns...

bush 95, kerry 77 (according to abc)
i don't know much about politics, or how that there electrical college works, but i've always been able to translate most life events into basketball terms.

my guess is that at this point, the bush team is hitting well over 50% of their shots, mostly short-range jumpers and lay-ups, rather than relying on three-poiint shooting.

meanwhile, the bush defense is closing down the kerry three-point shooters, possibly by using a combination zone/match-up/misinformation defense.

bush 102, kerry 77
again, the bush team is doing a good job of exploiting the weaknesses in kerry's zone defense, and they're penetrating just enough to hit the mid-range jumpshots. again, it's fundamental basketball, relying on good, high-percentage shooting rather than rash drives to the basket or low-percentage outside shooting.

but, there's lots of time left in this game. i think the nba scoring record for the regular season was set on december 13, 1983 (oddly close to the electoral college vote, i think) - detroit 186, denver 184, in triple overtime. again, i'm no poliotical pundit, but i see this game surpassing that record for excessive scoring, in regulation time...

i'm listening to people talk, and i feel kind of bad for them. they're all kerry supporters, or at least anti-bush. this bush administration has been so incredibly bad, and then their incredible badness has been so further incredibly exaggerated and blown up to be so unbelelievably bad, that it's opponent has by some relative virtue become a flawless miracle waiting to happen.

some people seem to be confusing the end of the bush era (until the next one, anyway, when george prescott bush gets a few corporations behind him), as the beginning of the new renaissance, a golden age for all mankind. apparently, as of january 21 of next year, or even as of tomorrow morning, if kerry were to win, the epcot world of the future will erupt in all its general electric glory, ushering in the era of milk and honey, of unrivaled peace love and understanding. hovercars for everyone!

note: becky armendariz-klein is the dan morales dan morales never was, but still not the dan morales we hoped dan morales would be, and she still is getting her ass kicked. i remember comijng back to work downtown after lunch one day, and seeing morales and some folks walking back down lavaca from lunch. i accelerated and circled the block just to yell at him to let him know exactly what an incredible prick he was. good times.

8:03 - peter jennings just announced that they were not ready to make a projection in a key state. hooray for restraint.

someone just asked what the yellow states are. i believe these to be the states that have simply decided to cede themselves to china at this point...

there's a guy here named ron. he's ubercool. he has john lennony-fresh glasses on, with one red lens, one blue. he says the 3D effect causes him to see both red and blue states as one political machine: "two puppets on the hands of one devil." i love this guy.

i just realized who's house i'm at - another woman i've dug that dug chet at some point. jesus fucking christ... i need more beer...

new mexico has gone to bush. listen, it's all about getting the vote out, and while there's a sizeable hippie liberal contingent in new mexico, the average 1967 volkswagen microbus is not the most reliable transportation... i'm just sayin'...

9:15 - is that bill russert with some kind of etch-a-sketch, or is it john madden with a telestrator? is it monday night?

9:25 - pretty cool that a dude named "obama" can do so well in illinois. like, what if some dude named "shitler" beat out eisenhower in south dakota? that would be impressive. still, if i were obama's coach, and he only beat alan keyes by 60 percentage points, obama would be running some extra laps after practice.

10:47 bush 207, kerry 199
if i were coaching this game, i'd still be happy - it's close, and with california and other key states still out, it's like i haven't even brought michael jordan into the game yet...

why isn't nbc letting anyone skate on the states?

you know, if bush wins, it's just a sign that people haven't been pushed far enough, that they we haven't progressed enough to honor truth above our desire for drama and our blind faith in the home team. both parties fall prey to the same weaknesses. we need to be fighting with truth, not lies and exaggeration. u2 says "the truth is not the same without the lies you made up." in this case, the truth is the same, but the lies just distort it further and discredit the truth itself, and those that would tell it. michael moore has done us all a great disservice.

alan simpson? get him off! he's not even a sitting senator! he's only sitting on his ass in his drawers somewhere in wyoming. hey, jennings, next time lead in with an explanation of why i give a damn what this skeletor-looking motherfucker thinks, OK?

minutes after 11:00PM -

Fox News: Bush 210, Kerry 144, a difference of 66 votes
CNN - Bush 197, Kerry 188 - difference of 9
NBC - Bush 207, Kerry 199 - difference of 8

now, at this point, no one can cry foul, that Fox is somehow affecting the west coast or hawaiian votes. but i still find it odd. for the sake of keeping people watching, why does fox want to effectively tell bush folks that it's safe to go to bed?

people in ohio are apparently still in line to vote. come on. you're in ohio, it's freakin' cold, and the rest of the country is waiting on your hick ass. if i'm in ohio, i'm stalling just to mess with people...

ok, it's all i can take. way drunk, way angry at my own life, compounded with the election results. fittingly, the comment from abc's linda douglas: "what's amazing is how well the democratic process is working tonight."

indeed. good night, oh silly world.

Posted by Rob at November 3, 2004 01:27 AM

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Posted by: Juanita at November 3, 2004 08:44 AM

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