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July 08, 2004
US Launches Airstrike on Houston Courthouse
Bush Claims Al-Qaeda Link
HOUSTON (PP) -- Hours after former Enron Corp. chairman and CEO and card-carrying Bush Buddy Kenneth Lay was indicted on criminal charges in a Houston court, President Bush called for an airstrike on that Texas city by US forces.
At approximately 3:48 PM CST, B-2 stealth fighters delivered ordinance payloads to downtown Houston. Ground troops from nearby Fort Hood were also called in, but "had stopped for a restroom break, then hit some really nasty traffic on I-10," according to one Pentagon spokesman.
Sources in the White House report that the president was watching "Pokemon" when network news reported the indictment of Lay at approximately 3:25 PM CST. After sitting in shocked silence for several minutes, the president was heard to exclaim, "Oh, my God! They indicted Kenny! You bastards!" In a tense meeting with advisors, Bush reportedly said, "I'll tell you what it is. Al Qaida. Osama Bin Laden is using that, using some kind of Nation of Islamic mind control to manipulify and gain control of our courts. They've gotta be stopped."
British Prime Minister Tony Blair and other world leaders called Bush to offer their conditional moral support, and the mayors of Austin, Dallas, and Corpus Christi called to thank him for his swift and decisive action.
Other key sites in Houston were also hit in the strike, including several Marble Slab ice cream stores.
The President is expected to address the nation tonight, right after "Simple Life 2" airs on Fox. "I respect the integligence of those two young American womens," said Bush.
Posted by Rob at July 8, 2004 06:27 AM