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dang ol' king of the hill, man.
July 04, 2007
ahh, holiday. slept 'til noon. i'm gonna try to get out on my bike, even in the rain, but first i have to try to peel myself away from the Monk and King of the Hill marathons.
but it does remind me... remember how people freaked out a few years ago when those two propane trucks were stolen in San Antonio?
Wednesday, June 2, 2004 Posted: 10:43 AM EDT (0243 GMT)
ARLEN, Texas (Reuters) - FBI agents in Texas apprehended two men Wednesday morning driving two propane tanker trucks that had been stolen from San Antonio over the Memorial Day weekend.
Witnesses reported that the two men were identified as Hank Hill, of Arlen, Texas, and "Rusty Shackleford", though the latter name is assumed to be an alias.
The trucks were spotted and reported by an Arlen resident who identified himself only as "Khan". "I see tanker truck driving down street. I tell my wife, Connie - 'Heeeeyyy, that not look right to me. Then, I see crazy redneck neighbor Hank Hill driving truck. I call White House immediately. They say no big deal, probably nothing. I call FBI director, he say he too busy. I call local news station, and they call police. I not big hero. Just a simple man living among rednecks."
Hill, a noted and respected local seller of propane and propane accessories, has a history of being indirectly connected with suspicious activity in the Arlen area. He was a suspect in the 1998 propane explosion at the local Megalomart that killed one dim-witted teenage employee. He was also the owner of a 29 lb. turkey found by a bomb-sniffing dog on a flight to Montana in 1999. The turkey was safely detonated by a local bomb squad. He was also a suspect in the murder of his employer's mistress. Hill has been unofficially linked to other events, including aiding in the theft, joyride and destruction of an M1 Bradley tank in 2002, purchasing crack cocaine to use as fish bait, and mooning former Texas Governor Ann Richards.
Hill's political extremism may have been learned from his father, Cotton Hill, a shinless war veteran, who is reported to have been involved in a plot to kill Castro, at a Yankees baseball game in 1967, then again in 2001. He was also held responsible for the burning of the Arlen Baptist Church and the theft of Santa Ana's leg from a museum.
"Shackleford" is believed to be one Dale Gribble, a local exterminator and survivalist extremist who briefly held a bell tower at the local community college until tranquilized by local police.
"Man, these dang ol', see, man, you come on all those dang ol' cameras and just 'hey these are terrorists', but man, come on, they're Hank and Dale, man, just dang ol' good people," said one apparently intoxicated neighbor.
"Man, this is proof that dang ol' terrorists... small-town America, just... accenturizes what we've been telling you all, and I'm an example of it, and it has to stop," President Bush commented from his bathtub.
Posted by Rob at July 4, 2007 01:04 PM
Comments
Ok, that was damn funny. I used to hang with Johnny Hardwick (voice of Dale) at the Velveeta Room back when he was doing a routine called Johnny Aneurysm. Ah, good times...
Posted by: Joey at July 9, 2007 07:58 AM