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staying in shape for shut-ins
January 16, 2007
Well, thanks to this wussy "ice storm" (which I have used as an excuse
not to go near doors or windows, or indeed, to even leave my couch and
blankie) and apparently impending snowfall of doom (what is this
"snow" thing, anyway?), the workouts for the two running groups i coach, and my own workout, have been canceled. so, here's some special ice day workouts and other tips for readers that i have carefully developed using all my well-honed coaching acumen.
first of all, don't panic. missing workouts due to circumstances beyond your control is just one of those things that can and will eventually happen during training. so, you can't go out and run, it seems, but there are always cross-training alternatives:
1. if you can safely get to a treadmill, do that. take an old pair of
running shoes, drive short nails through the bottoms (that would be
pointy side out - i always mess that part up), and use them to run the
six miles to get to the treadmill at the gym.
2. if you have kids, think of something that they may have done wrong.
surely they've done something wrong, you just have to get creative...
they broke the 62" plasma tv? those little bastards! you don't have a
plasma tv? that's their fault, too. chase them for four repeats of 6-8
minutes each, with a 2 minute recovery each time. the key here is to
really sell them on the fact that you're going to kill them, so you
get some decent footspeed out of them.
3. if you don't have kids, think of something your spouse/significant
other may have done wrong. see #2
4. no significant other? well, that's just sad, but i'm right there
with you. your best bet is to give up and go the psycho route and
train like DeNiro did as Travis Bickle in "Taxi Driver," or as Cady in
"Cape Fear." Push-ups, pull ups, giving yourself a mohawk, smashing
televisions, working on your menacing psycho stare, that sort of
thing. Try to keep the heart rate up for at least 20 minutes at a
time.
5. take both your cats in the shower with you. turn shower on. do
mighty hand-to-paw battle for 25 minutes without losing too much
blood.
the point is, do what you can. try to at least grab 30-40 minutes of
good stable cardio action. even if it's not running, it'll keep your
body ready for running. and sometime in the interminable dullness of
the day, work in something that will inspire you or make you think
about running or at least exercise and competition. ESPN Classic has
PBA Bowling at 11 - the 2001 American Congress Bowling tournament.
that'll work. at least it's better than Dr. Phil.
DO NOT go to central market last night and buy chips, $6 worth of two
kinds of malted milk balls, a six pack of beer, a loaf of rosemary and
cheddar bread, and a hunk of smoked gouda, because you're unemployed,
you can't afford it, and with nothing else to do, five beers and half the loaf of bread will be gone by morning, and you'll just get fat.
if you have already done this, just give up. strip to your calvin klein boxer briefs, take the last beer from the six pack, and go sit on a patch of ice and wait for it to snow.
Posted by Rob at January 16, 2007 11:00 AM
Comments
Excellent advice! André's been looking for an excuse for hand-to-paw combat. He's been eyeing the furball suspiciously for hours.
We went for a brief stroll a couple of hours ago and stood around with the neighbors while we all took pictures of SNOW.
Not a bad way to spend an Ice Day.
Posted by: Jennifer at January 16, 2007 02:58 PM