« matrices | Main | i love this game »
tuesday afternoon
October 11, 2005
i just walked to the bank. i had my iPod, playing the new fiona apple album (you have to hear it - it's an amazing piece of work, and not as thoroughly dark as her other stuff). i feel like i'm fathoms deep, and everything's pushing in, and i can't breathe. i grab short, small breaths. i catch myself making faces, wringing my hands. i want to cry, and i want to hit things.
i stopped on the way back - lavaca street has $1 tecate on tuesdays. beers like tecate remind me that lone star is really a good little beer for the price. nikki was working the bar, and it was nice to see a familiar face. she's a bit closer to my age than many of the area bartenders and cocktail waitresses, which is refreshing.
not long ago, her sister came to visit from jersey or pennsylvania or
someplace. she seemed like one of those young, frivolous party girls,
but she was really cool, and genuinely liked talking to different
people. she claimed she had game, and wanted to come play basketball on my girl's team while she was in town. she told me about how she doesn't like to fly, how she was on the patio of a hotel room somewhere on the east coast, and actually saw one of the past decade's major air crashes happen.
sometimes i wonder if something like that helps keep someone like that
from being as superficial, or a complete jerk.
anyway, the beer helped a little, as if it had floated me up just a little closer to the surface and sea level's more familiar pressure. i went next door, and saw palomita and nichole, who i just now realized i should call cornnicholio. she may or may not be amused.
i'm just running through a rough bit, pain starting to make me doubt myself, twinges in my legs threatening to become cramps, and my lungs aching from trying to draw enough air. i'm just waiting to get my another wind, to smooth out my stride again.
an hour and a half to go.
Posted by Rob at October 11, 2005 04:02 PM