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practice
October 20, 2005
so, years ago, at the height of my basketball phase, i was in search of a new place to live, with my friend, robert. we had narrowed it down a bit, then i found something. he was sold on something else, but i drove him to the complex i had found.
i took a basketball out of the back of my for explorer, and we walked to the center of the complex, to the full-length basketball court that was tucked away there.
robert was the guy who had, with his brother, introduced me to basketball. he was a fanatic, the guy that spent hours in his driveway as a kid running through gamescenarios in his mind, always hitting the game-winning shot, developing the sort of obsessive mentality of the tourette's-ridden players he would later come to admire.
we shot some baskets, and he said, let's go to the leasing office.
it was in the days after a relationship, in the days before one of the Golden Ages of Rob. there was time to kill, lots and lots of time. and i spent hours of it out on that court, shooting hundreds of shots - a hundred free throws, then a hundred jumpers, then a hundred more free throws, then a hundred turnaround jumpers, shoot, rebound, run to the other side of the court, then a hundred more free throws, then a hundred off the glass, a hundred three-pointers.
i shot in the sun, in the rain, left-handed when i dislocated my shoulder. i obsessed over the numbers and percentages, cursed, kicked the ball, watched the couples and girls walk by, shot, shot, shot.
and i never really got better, because i'm just not a basketball player.
i am a writer. i believe that in my soul, because if i didn't believe i could write, that i could sing, i would have ended all the rest of it years ago.
but i have to practice, and i realize that. i can't stay mired in this maudlin rut of emotion and the self-indulgence of everything i'm feeling right now, that i always seem to feel, that i feel increasingly.
so i found this book, and i bought it - "the 3 a.m. epiphany." it's got these writing drills throughout it, and i think they might be interesting. i've often been at my best with some guidance, working in the framework of an existing story.
my web account for this site renewed automatically a couple of days ago. i was waffling on keeping it going, weighing the expense (almost $100) against how little i felt was coming out of it, how little i felt the words were meaning once i set them loose out there.
but it renewed automatically while i waffled, so i guess this pudding will continue to thicken for another year. i will still spill my guts, and people will be concerned, and i will appreciate that, but i will also try to write things that are actually interesting and funny and worthwhile, and yes, palomita, i will also write things that people may never read.
granted, it's now 11:02. i've had some beer. not feeling bad, though. but a little tired. the first writing exercise may or may not happen tonight.
i do have something else to talk about though, however briefly.
Posted by Rob at October 20, 2005 10:41 PM