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worst terrorist attack ever
August 19, 2005
i just saw the report about the al-qaida attack on two u.s. warships in jordan. three missiles were fired. all missed.
now, i'm happy they missed. i wish they hadn't cost the one life that they did. nonetheless, i have to shake my head and say this might indeed be the lousiest terrorist attack ever.
one missile hit a jordanian warehouse, leaving an eight-foot hole in the roof and, all joking aside, killed a jordanian soldier. jordan will clearly not be amused.
another "landed" near a jordanian hospital.
the third hit a taxi driven by 40 year-old cabbie Meir Farhan, who escaped with minor injuries. actually, even that overstates things a bit. farhan described the missile attack: "I didn't realize what it was, (but) when I went out of the car I saw a hole in the ground on the asphalt."
maybe i'm jaded by too many bruckheimer/michael bay/governor schwarzenegger films, but i'm pretty sure missiles should blow shit up, or else yougot ripped off and should get your money back. these guys not only failed to hit two pretty large targets with three shots, but one of their missiles "landed," one knocked a hole in a roof, and the other startled the driver of the taxi it hit.
news reports show pictures of people gawking at a "crater" left by the taxi-denting missile. yeah. not so much a "crater." i've left bigger divots when i briefly tried golf.
the al-qaida, for some reason, actually took credit for this. me, i would've just pretended it never happened, and seriously demoted the four guys that jacked things up.
but al-qaida, i guess already having blown the money, and apparently having planned this whole gig for months, decided to try to spin the attack, declaring, "A group of our holy warriors ... targeted a gathering of American military ships docking in Aqaba port and also in Eilat port with three Katyusha rockets and the warriors returned safe to their headquarters."
wow. basically, "so, four of our guys fired three missiles at two big-assed ships. they, uhh... well, they missed them. completely. but on the upside, the guys got home safe, even in rush hour traffic."
i also have to wonder how they decided who got to fire the missiles, and who got stuck as either the spotter or the guy watching the door. if it's me, i'm wanting to shoot the missiles. i mean, i know it's a very serious, a jihad and all that, but come on, firing a missile has got to be a kick, right?
maybe there's a seniority system, where you have to rack up some experience with, you know, blowing up a certain number of children with car bombs before you can step up to the fun missile-shootin'.
more than likely, the fourth guy's input for the entire event was probably, "doh!... ahh... ahh... no. crap. damn, you guys suck. my grandmother could shoot better with her burkah on. i mean, seriously."
Posted by Rob at August 19, 2005 03:02 PM