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hamsandwich, the prince of ihop
May 10, 2005
bored and hungry coworker:
to noodle, or not to noodle? that is the question that is upon us in this, our hour of lunch.
bored english major response:
To noodle, or not to noodle? that is the question --
Whether 'tis nobler in this hour to suffer
The flings and dribbles of ramenous noodles,
Or to take cash against the pangs of hunger,
And by dining out, end them. -- eat here, -- go out --
No more; and to go out, to say, we end
The hunger, and the thousand unnatural chemicals
Ramen is heir to; tis a gustation devoutly to be wish'd. -- eat here, --go out --
Go out, perchance, to gorge. Ay, there's the rub;
For in such scheme of lunch, what foods may come
When we have shuffled off this microwave's coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Trudy's of so long life.
For who would bear the dehydrated noodles,
The sandwich's sogginess, the leftover's decay,
The fat of fry-ed chips, the bake-d lays,
The microwave's line, and the churns
That curdled mayonnaise of our stomachs make;
When he himself might his Flatus make
With a chili burger? Who would TV dinners bear
To wince and hack through a stale burrito,
But that the dread of spending a pfennig,
That undiscovered money, which once spent
Shall never return, puzzles the will;
And makes us rather heat the Lean Cuisines we have,
Than eat enchiladas we know not of?
Thus, poverty doth make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of complexion
Is sicklied over with the pallor of malnutrition;
And lunch times of great fun and amusement,
With this regard the boredom crushes away,
And fade into the day -- Soft taco, now!
mmm... pancakes...
Posted by Rob at May 10, 2005 12:40 PM