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i'm a frickin' clydesdale.
January 20, 2005
so, i'm just taking a second to look at the course for the 3M half-marathon, just 10 days away.
i've already registered, but i notice that there are categories for "clydesdales" and "fillies." a "clydesdale" is apparently a male runner 200 pounds or over. a "filly" is a woman greater than or equal to 150 lbs.
well fcuk me. these stupid running people just don't know when to stop, do they? i'm six feet tall and pretty damned athletic. on my worst day, i don't consider myself fat, tubby, chubby, stout, or husky. "rugged" has been suggested, and i like that.
but the running stick people are likening me to a big-assed sweaty horse with hairy ankles and a predilection for leather straps that will pee in the street while it's hauling beer around.
ok. some of that does ring eerily true. but still, it ain't right. now i really can't help but yell at every short-short wearin', callista-flockhart-lookin' dude, "yeah, you better run, skeletor! i'd hate to fall on you and get a splinter in my butt! stop running! eat something! you probably weigh less than my left hoof, you freak! i mean, foot. my left foot."
i do know that at 220 lbs, i'm doing a hell of a lot more work. so, i've been working on dropping weight. i've gone from a high of about 227 a couple of weeks ago to 220. i plan to get to 215 before the 3M, then hopefully between 205 and 210 by the freescale half-marathon on february 13. but even those are ambitious goals - there's no way i could reasonably get under 200 in time, and even then, to these people, i'd just move out of "clydesdale" into "smaller, but still pretty heavy workhorse" category, which just ain't worth enough to forgo the now very-occasional cookie.
that's ok, i guess. i take heart in the words of charles barkley: "I've always said that my 'playing weight' is whatever I happen to weigh when I'm playing." on the upside, my svelte-challenged body will keep me from becoming assimilated by the stupid psycho running stick people. so maybe i bought a copy of runner's world a couple of weeks ago, and i keep it hidden inside a hustler. so maybe i've been shopping for new running shoes and forgot that the new air jordans come out in february. so maybe i like the taste of energy gel. but as long as i'm "rugged", i'm a normal human being and not a "runner", right?
right?
p.s. - now looking at the freescale info. their clydesdale division starts at 190 pounds, the fillies start at 140.
skinny bastards.
Posted by Rob at January 20, 2005 02:23 PM
Comments
You better not be dieting before a race!!!! You need your energy!!!
Posted by: Frances at February 9, 2005 10:29 AM