who wants pudding?: normalcy

« doing the christmas dance with my dad | Main | do something »

normalcy

December 27, 2004

click to enlarge. do it. DO IT NOW!

thank you. i strongly suggest you just skip to the other pictures below, unless the halcion/atavan/dilaudid ain't cutting it for you today.

it's the dead week. the blur of the thanksgiving to christmas/chanukah/winter solstice period slammed right into the actual activity of christmas/chanukah/winter solstice, completely without pause or hesitation, then everything ended rather abruptly. now, regardless of what i do, there's that sense of waiting, of the in-betweeness of the christmas to new year's stretch. reflection is a bit inevitable for me after this year, and for where i'm at now. the coming year is anticipated, but it's sort of like knowing you're leaving work in five minutes, and there's not really a point in starting that last settlement order, article, table of clothes to fold, or sex act for your last "massage" customer of the day. hey, i'm just trying to put this in terms my friends can relate to.

plus, i think i had looked forward to christmas vacation as, well, a vacation. don't get me wrong - i had a good time.

christmas eve morning was nutty. one of the cats had was either ill or had decided to revolt against the conventional, mandated peeing-in-the-litter-box procedure, deciding instead that the couch would do nicely. that consumed a couple of hours and a small chunk of money. my cats now have his and hers litterboxes. my couch now smells like chemicals rather than urine. such is life with cats.

christmas eve and day went pretty well with my parents, except that for the 83rd time, my stepdad asked why his computer had two or three extra internet search bars, and a steady stream of pop-ups. this time, my patience exhausted, i went straight to the history file, and told him that by and large, they came from visiting disreputable web sites.

at his suggestion, we quickly moved on to my original task of showing him how to load photos from his digital camera to his computer, which, though almost completely automated, i am certain he no longer remembers how to do.

i loved my exciting new soniccare toothbrush, thrilling new shoes from dad, gift cards for best buy and starbucks (if you harass me about it, no espresso brownie for you), and the thought of the cool new clothes i'll be able to get when i return the plaid polo long-sleeved shirt to dillard's.

i also had a good time during my friend mara's impromptu visit. we watched movies, ate, chatted a lot, made fun of australia. ok, that was mostly me. but good fun.

thing is, i needed time. i've needed time, more than a weekend, to totally get outside of everything. i had today off, but it was too short. several hours were spent doing some outside legal work for a longtime friend, work that has so far only paid me in some admittedly yummy mole enchiladas from el azteca.

i then went to have my blood drawn, something i was supposed to do two weeks ago. on arrival, i was reminded that i wasn't supposed to be tested until after 12 hours of my last dose of depakote.

i then went to the bank, and deposited the check i got for christmas from mom. on the way to the mall, i got distracted by the amazing-looking afternoon sky to the west. i then spent 30 minutes in heavy traffic trying to find a spot to capture it from. i was making my third pass trying to get on the upper deck of a flyover, where i was prepared to take a blind shot out my open window, when i realized the shot was gone. stupid power lines. stupid trees.

i went to the apple store, which looks like a set from thx 1138, to find a particular case for my iPod. there, i enjoyed the ever-popular declining of the card. a call to the bank revealed that the check i got for christmas from mom had been promptly eaten upon deposit by bank fees, because i used the wrong debit card to fill my gluttonous suv, which has been for sale for 18 months now, with gas the other day. (incidentally, looking at the ad for my truck, it appears that the shorter ad i submitted for the print version of auto trader has replaced the longer, more detailed info i had online. nice.)

i have thoroughly annoyed myself with my financial behavior in general. i am dedicating myself to fixing that, however. austerity measures will be imposed. new year's celebrations will consist of a six pack of harp (down from my usual 12), music barely audible so's not to anger the looney 6'2" woman that lives beneath me, and possibly cat slinging. oliver and mama cat do not suspect.

anyway, i left the mall, full of the afore-mentioned annoyance at myself. i went to town lake and ran the five miles required by my training schedule, since the most physical thing i've done since last tuesday night was the having of intimate relations. with myself. i also folded some clothes and carried them from the dryer to the closet. ok, no i didn't, they're still on the dryer. needless to say, between the eating and almost complete lack of activity, the five miles was a little difficult.

afterwards, i went to take some photos of an image i saw the other night. stupid power lines. stupid trees. however, as i got back in my car after trying to take some shots of the power plant, as seen above, i heard that train a' comin. i tried to get some shots, and the engineer guy tooted the horn at me and waved. i was unable to determine whether or not he had a cool hat.

even afterwards, there were calls to be made. i spent most of the night on the phone or instant messaging, while i wrestled with some of the latest batch of photos and how to better post them, which is still untested. do ya see pictures? if so, well, you can figure it out.

so, i struggle to get it all under control, to regain normalcy so that i can once again work to make things better than "normal".

on the other hand - and i hate to be maudlin, a word i don't really know the definition of but think might work here, and i don't want to be... uhh... effusively or tearfully sentimental, since we get bludgeoned with enough of that crap this time of year - i can't help but feel a little silly. i haven't lost anyone. my home is not washed away.

i'm not playing the "it could be worse" card. that's a line of crap, a cop-out in itself. but, i know i can't take my time and the gifts the universe has given me for granted. must do and see and write and enjoy my friends as much as i can. because as much as we dot our lives with red-letter days and holidays and seasons, the truth is, life and the universe do not know those things, do not stop or wait for them. and neither should i.

ok, my apologies for the last couple of syrupy entries. it's as if... oh my god, it's some sort of voodoo retribution from james taylor! leave me alone, and stay out of my head, you nasally guitar-strumming demon! you are a handyman for the devil!

anyway. wow. so, this one really sucked. like, awkwardly so. hmm.

uhh...

collateral is a really good movie.

err... how bout that russian election, huh? damn... oh, i know - AND NOW, SOME PICTURES!

uh, huh, huh... it's a bunch of slots...